Take advantage of the fact that you are alive and see if you can find even just a moment to feel the fun of play in your daily life. 
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As you do this, I'm hoping that you'll find that place more and more accessible and be able to enjoy the process of learning! 

For me this often comes in waves of insecurity and indecision.
 
The thing about doubt is that it often has a close friend in fear + it can be crippling. Worry and anxiety have a way of locking you down. You can’t make any decision for fear of being “wrong,” feeling judged, or perhaps the most terrifying for me, the fear of failure.